Memoir

The most painful I experience in my teenage life is being an introverted type of girl. Because I couldn't do anything to exposed my talent and skills. All I can do is being silent, I always make my negative side win over my positive side I have. That's why I experience to bullying by anyone, when I was elementary. As I grow up and become a youth, I remember all the past that I've do. This words come to my mind, "hanggang dito na lang ba ako?" Then in our school my teachers teach me how to communicate with others, they teach me how to talk in front of many people. So I work myself and still working on it to become a better person, I learned that I don't need to be afraid in front of the people. I've seen all things that negative happened to me, and it didn't help me to develop myself. And if I'm still make my negative side win, I can't do anything and I can't achieve all my goals. But now, I can stand and talk in front of the people but I'm still trembling in nervous.

The challenging I've experience in my life is when I got a problem in our family, school, problem about my friends and also to my church in the same week and days. That time my mind didn't sync properly. I can't focus on the class, I can't eat proper, I can't laugh, I can't do anything. I am so depressed! All I've been doing that day is to stay in my room the whole day, crying every night, and didn't talk to anyone. I also think that days to get suicide, but I can't because I know God will never allow me to do that. Because of the family problem I've encountered in our house and problem to my school and friends it also affect my time to God. The feelings I felt that day was so mess. I feel nothing, I feel like no one was around me nor beside me, just only myself. But the day comes to my mind I thought about Jesus. So I prayed to God and as the day past by, my days seems to become fine. I can laugh, joke, and did think the positive thoughts that I need. I trust to God and believe in his word that everything has a purpose.